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Are you ready to unlock the mysteries of female sexuality? Come As You Are is a must-read for all vulva-owners and the partners who want to please them. In this episode, the Wives interview author Emily Nagoski on how her can help all women maximize their capacity for pleasure. 

But before we dive into the details, mix yourself up this episode’s Cocktail – the Blood Orange Mule, while Ams recounts a ridiculous attempt to buy THC-infused lube in California. 

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Then, the Wives FAN-GIRL over their favorite author, Emily Nagoski, and her award-winning book, Come As You Are.

Based on their initial read, the Wives learned the nitty gritty of female anatomy (how male parts and female parts are analogs of each other!), the Dual Control Model (with the notorious sexual “accelerators” and “brakes”), the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire and how to get all parts of your mind and body moving in one direction, for absolutely mind-blowing pleasure.

Next,  the Wives go straight to the source, interviewing the incomparable Emily Nagoski, on Come As You Are as well as her newest project, which focuses on staying connected in a long term relationship. 

Finally, the Wives assign themselves sexy homework: time to check out Come As You Are, the Workbook.  

If you find female sexuality confusing and even frustrating, this book is a game-changer.  

A very special thanks to Abbey Snider for editing assistance on this episode!  You can check out Abbey’s podcast, Sweet Baby Gay at

about EMILY

EMILY NAGOSKI is the award-winning author of the New York Times bestselling Come As You Are and The Come As You Are Workbook, and coauthor, with her sister, Amelia, of New York Times bestseller Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. She earned an M.S. in counseling and a Ph.D. in health behavior, both from Indiana University, with clinical and research training at the Kinsey Institute. Now she combines sex education and stress education to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies. She lives in Massachusetts with two dogs, a cat, and a cartoonist.


want to learn more about "come as you are"?

Check out Carina’s book review on Come As You Are, as well as other sexy titles on our “Things We Love” page. 

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