So I am married and honestly 80% of our marriage is wonderful. He’s a great person, he’s a fantastic Dad, and I love him.

But our sex life sucks.

I have always had the higher sex drive. I always initiate. I try to tell him what I like but he doesn’t listen, its the same over and over and over again. I just don’t think I can spend the rest of my life doing this.

So I thought about maybe trying this but it is really foreign to me so I was wondering how to approach the topic and figure out where to go from here?


Welcome to the wonderful world of ethical non-monogamy!

Step one is communication: Use your Words!

If opening up your marriage is something that you would like to try, either together or independently, you need to talk with your husband. Tell him your desires and your fantasies and discuss how the two of you can make them come true together. Approach it less as a problem (our sex life sucks) and more as an adventure ( I want to explore this side of my sexuality. How can we do it together?)

Remember, you made vows to your husband and, while I am ALL FOR UNCOVENTIONAL VOWS, if you want to change the rules and norms by which your marriage operates, you need him to be a willing, enthusiastic partner regarding that change.

I wish you the best of luck! Let us know how it goes.

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